Tag Archives: big society

‘Big society’ and other words

Today David Cameron will make a speech defending his ‘big society’ mantra, which he insists on persevering with. In honour of this, I’ve penned a little speech myself, which may be fairly similar to what he’ll say today:

“I’m here to talk to you today, Britain, about words. Words that make up sentences. Words that we speak everyday, to our families and to our friends. Words that once made Great Britain and shall one day make Britain great again.  

“What are these words I speak of? Well, I was in Oldham the other day, a town in the north of England. And it was in Oldham that I met Steve, who is a black man, with a black wife and three little black children. And Steve said to me, “David Cameron, it is your words that help me through the day. The words you speak, from your mouth.” Steve, and his wife Alice, and his three children James, Sally and Wesley Snipes, are ordinary people like you, and me. For I am an ordinary man, who speaks ordinary words. Words made up of vowels and consonants and morphemes.

Word, words, words

“And I know some of you, Britain, are sceptical. You are sceptical of my words, of my policies, of my politics. You are sceptical that we will not create a ‘big society’, or that we don’t even know what a ‘big society’ really is. It is this scepticism that stops words from working. Believe me when I tell you, Britain, that I am using all the words I know in my quest for a big society.

“Yesterday I was in Blackburn, which is worse than Oldham. I met an Asian man there. But the Asian man didn’t speak the words we speak, English words. Because he doesn’t understand that we need English words to function in British society. But we will work together, with our words, not theirs, to help integrate them into our big British society.

And so, Britain, I hope that you understand my words, and understand why my words are so important. Without them, I could not have made this speech today. With them, we can make Britain great once more. Thank you.”

You can follow Neal Wallace on Twitter @nealjwallace or you can follow David Cameron straight to hell. Do not pass Go. He might give you £200, though.