I was trawling through the pages of truelad.com earlier today. You know, the website where lonely teenagers tell lies about things they haven’t done. An example:
“A mate, on 99 birds shagged, takes back a girl he’d been for drinks with. We (his housemates) all hide behind furniture in the living room when he came back. He starts his foreplay and asks her if she’d mind if he wore cricket gloves whilst they had sex, since it was a bit of a fetish thing for him. She looked confused but said fine, he goes into his bag and puts them on. Then asks if he can wear pads, then finally a helmet. Fully padded up, proceeds to enter her and after about 3 minutes (LAD) comes, flicks on the main light switch. We all pop up from behind the sofa with rousing applause and cries of ‘THAT’S THE CENTURY!!’, he grabs his cricket bat, removes his helmet and acknowledges the crowd. She bursts into tears, dresses quickly and runs out of the front door. She left her pants. LAD”
LieLAD. So I’m wondering where these mythomaniacs get off? Too much Top Gear and Ready Brek, maybe, but there’s something to be said for pathological lying to impress. Sure, it’s just a bit of fun, but the above untruth managed to get nearly 40,000 ‘thumbs up good lad’ points. Good lad, what you say to a dog. A dog, barely sentient, to whom you can be as condescending as you like because as long as they’re allowed to eat and defecate on the lawn, they’re happy.
This got me thinking about a new concept. Truecad.com. We’ve all done awful things in our time, accidentally, or otherwise. That is to say, we’ve all been a cad. So why not document it like our friends over at truelad.com? At least they’ll be true (it’s funny because it’s true and all that). Last month, for example, I fell on top of a heavily pregnant woman on the tube. Cad. I also gave a baby the finger. Cad. Continue as appropriate.
You can follow Neal Wallace on Twitter @nealjwallace